Listen to the interview.

Don Goewey is the author of Mystic Cool.  To learn more about Don and the stress reducing exercise, the “Clear Button”  that he talked about on Amy’s Table, visit his site.

Some great information from Don:

When it comes to school, some kids are excited, but others feel a  sinking sensation in the pit of their stomachs. Children- and adults- are facing increasing levels of stress. Backpacks now contain so many books they have to have wheels to avoid doing permanent damage to children’s backs and shoulders. There are kindergartens and preschools whose students were put on the waiting list in utero with visions of Harvard dancing in parents’ heads. Barely out of diapers, these kids are being taught to read and write and do basic math. A good academic record isn’t to get into a good college. Extracurricular activities are hardly seen as extracurricular anymore. Some kids are so busy they have detailed calendars and beeping reminders to remember where they are supposed to be. For the ones that pay attention to the news, the stress of a nation at war can be added to the list, particularly for those who are thinking about college and are unsure how to pay for it. Advances in technology seem to make the world spin faster, and kids are keeping up with Facebook, Twitter, text messages, and chat rooms that come rapidly. When do they get to play?

All parents want their children to succeed, and that is ultimately what drives them to push their kids. That is the job of the parent, right? To make sure the kids leave the nest and live happily ever after. The question begging to be asked, though, is what really brings success. It is so easy to get caught up in the drama of grades and awards and honors.

According to stress and brain performance expert Don Goewey, the child with a peaceful and positive attitude is much more likely to succeed than the one who is stressed to the max, even if that child has higher grades and more accomplishments. People, young and old, who are peaceful, positive, empathic, good communicators, balanced, and thoughtful perform better. It is a neurological fact. These attributes are like an immunization from stress. It creates a situation in the body that facilitates optimal health, and it develops the neural networks for creative intelligence. Living in fear and stress shuts all this down, leaving brain and body weakened.

So what can parents do to help their kids stay positive and dynamically peaceful and avoid fear and stress during the school year?

The Question That Puts an End to Stress: Help your kids process what it is they are afraid of. Have them take out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle, dividing it into two columns. Then guide them through the following process:
* Close your eyes and bring the stressful situation to mind.
* Tune into this stressful situation. Experience it again. Make it real. As much as possible, make it as if it were happening all over again.
* Now ask yourself: in this stressful situation, what am I afraid of?
When you have your answer, write it down in the left column, keeping it to one sentence or phrase.
* Next, reference back to the previously stated fear, asking yourself: what am I afraid of if this happens? For example: say that your first fear is I am afraid that people are judging me unfairly. In that case, the next question would be phrased: if people judge me unfairly, what am I afraid of?
* Write it down in one sentence or a phrase.
* Repeat the process until you have identified five or more fears or until you feel complete.

The next step is to inquire if there is any real basis to these fears. Return to the first fear on your list. Ask yourself: Am I 100 percent certain that this thought is true? Not in part, but 100 percent? If not, refute it with a more realistic statement in the right column. One by one, inquire into each fear statement, until you have inquired into all of them. This exercise will help kids gain perspective.

Offer – and Model – Peace as a Choice in the Middle of the Storm. When your child is in the eye of the storm of stress, offer a peaceful attitude as a possibility, even in the midst of chaos. Of course children learn as much or more by watching than by listening, so it is important to model this attitude in your own life (lowering YOUR stress levels too!) Viktor Frankl, the father of existential psychology and a holocaust survivor, once said, “The last of human freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance.”

Bring Compassion and Humor to the Table. When your child is struggling with school or friends, resist the temptation to go into lecture mode. Listen attentively and without judgement, offering compassion and humor. In the relaxed state this is sure to bring on, your child will have plenty of ideas about how to handle the situation appropriately.

And remember that EVERYONE needs time to play. Ensure your kids have plenty of time to just relax and enjoy their childhood.